BY: Dr. Laura Louis
Blog / Single Life
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So you have someone special in your life and you’re thinking about taking things to the next level. But you aren’t in high school anymore and making someone your one and only is not as simple as it once was before. You guys have been on plenty of dates, spending a lot of time together, and talking about making things “official”. Take a look at some things you should be sure to do before making your relationship official.
5 Things You Should Do Before Getting Into a Relationship
The Big Introduction:
Have you introduced your prospective boo to your friends? This is an important step to take before defining your relationship. Your significant other will play a big role in your life much like your closest friends. You have to see if they all mend well together. This way you will know what the future holds. Think about New Year’s Eve parties and birthdays. There will be time where these people will all be in the same room together and will be expected to be cordial. Allow your friends to get to know your boo and feel them out.
Make sure you discuss your non-negotiables with your new boo. Make a list of what won’t you tolerate, what is a must, and what will you compromise on and share it with your partner. Ask them to do the same. Approach your new relationship with your mind made up about what it is that you want. Whether your non-negotiable is no children before marriage or a no smoking policy, these things need to be discussed before it is too late. Let your boo know what the deal breakers are for you. Do not be afraid to discuss your preferences and past experiences that shape them. This is a part of who you are and a part of you that should be shared.
Discussing the Details:
Before you two love birds jump head first into something as complex as a relationship it is important that you guys discuss the basics. Be sure to tell your boo what you would like your relationship to be like. Talk about infidelity, establish boundaries that are clear, and what it truly means to be faithful. Hold each other accountable for actions. Make sure you two are on the same page as it relates to expectations and desires.
They Mean What They Say:
Now is the time to pull out your microscope! Be sure to pay attention to what your boo says. Pay attention to how they act under pressure or when things are not going how they planned. Look out for signs. Ask them about their past. Believe what they say about themselves. Know what to expect once you embark on this new relationship. Do not try to make excuses for them. Make note of their mistakes and how they apologized for them. Make sure this is really what you want. How you start is ultimately how you will finish.
Let Go of Your Ex
You might believe that this step is a no brainer but this is much easier said than done. As you open up the door to a new relationship it is important that you leave baggage from your past in the past. Avoid telling your new boo about your past relationship if it does not enhance your current situation. This is a new phase in your life that deserves a fresh mind and fresh slate. Understand that you holding on to past will impact your future negatively. If you have not moved on from your ex, do not get into something new until you have.
I hope you follow this checklist to the teeth before making your relationship official. I followed them and worked well for me. 14 years later, I'm steal happily married!
Dr. Laura Louis is a Licensed Psychologist/Therapist in the Atlanta, Georgia area. If you’re near and would like to get some of her services, please contact her or make an appointment! You can also check my YouTube Channel for more great stuff.
Written by: Kenyatta Wheeler, Client Ambassador