BY: Dr. Laura Louis
Blog / Marriage
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Not every relationship is perfect, but often there are simple solutions to make it come close. One avenue that struggles often is trust. And this article is here to help you improve the issues that cause a lack of trust with your partner.
Is lack of trust harming your relationship? Here are some ways to build trust in your relationship
First thing to remember is that honesty really is the best policy. Now, this does not have to mean brutality. Often times, people tend to exaggerate their portrayal of honesty and end up coming off as unnecessarily rude or aggressive. If you don’t like a person’s shirt, you could just say “not really” or “it’s not my style”, instead of “it’s the ugliest thing I have ever seen”.
Therefore, it is important to recognize the level at which your honesty is valued. Make sure that when you speak to your partner, your words have weight. Take time to be self-reflective and recognize if you find yourself lying to your significant other.
Do Not Hit Below The Belt
Sometimes we get defensive and harsh when we’re faced with a heated situation. We often end up saying things that cause long-lasting damage. If you find yourself hurling insults that are demeaning or uncalled for, you are conveying that your intent is to cause harm to your partner. Even in fights, be mindful of the areas of sensitivity and vulnerability that you were trusted to protect, and actively avoid attacking them.
This does not mean that those sensitivities are never addressed. It simply means that there needs to be room for controlled conversations and dialogue regarding those topics. One of the most surefire ways to destroy your partner’s trust in a relationship is to disregard their openness with sharing their insecurities by using it against them.
Take your Partner’s Complaints Seriously
If your partner shares an issue with you and you tend to deflect it back to their shortcomings, it can cause a break in future communication. When there’s a specific complaint in the relationship, discuss it in a satisfactory manner instead of distracting the conversation by bringing up an unrelated other complaint.
There’s a time and place for all conversations. And it’s important not to interrupt a matter that concerns you simply because you want to prove that the other person is a “bad guy” as well. This would end up making your partner resistant or reserved in future arguments that would eventually just build up.
Divorce Should Not be a Threat
While divorce is certainly a viable option in many situations, it should not be used as a tool to manipulate a person. Unless you are genuinely in a place where it is a serious consideration, it is unfair and hurtful to spring it upon your partner. Otherwise, they will in turn start to feel unsafe and doubt their feelings in the relationship as well. Try not to make your partner feel like the investment they made by being a part of your life was a mistake.
Please share your own ideas on how to build trust on the comment section below.